Yearning Happiness
by Demented Insane Spirit
Summary: Surreal finds herself yearning after the kind of life Lucivar has, but not with another man: with him. One shot.


DIS: Another pleasant Dark Jewels Trilogy fic. Besides Daemon and Jared, Lucivar and Surreal are my other favorite characters. I also prefer them together. This fiction does _not_ connect to _Rings_. Please read below and enjoy.

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_Title: Yearning Happiness_

_Rating: T for some language_

_Genre: Drama_

_Summary: Surreal finds herself yearning after the kind of life Lucivar has, but not with another man: with him. One shot._

_Disclaimer: I do not own this beautiful series, Anne Bishop does._

_Notes/Warnings: Implied Surreal/Lucivar; one-shot; second Dark Jewels Trilogy fic_

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_Yearning Happiness_

Surreal sat with what she supposed was a grave expression as she observed Daemonar screaming and flapping his strong, Eyrien wings as he swung around and around his father's head. The father in speaking was a handsome man. He most certainly was not unattractive. He had the golden skin that his brother and father had, along with the amber eyes and dark, long hair. His wings were the only trait that set him apart from the other two. They were magnificent wings, too: large, feathery objects that jutted out from his back and were prepossessing when spread to their full length.

Lucivar's wife, Marian, was also an attractive Eyrien, although only a hearth witch. Surreal had never been able to find herself friends with the woman and though she knew part of the reason was because of what type of witch she chose to be, the other reason that her mind never attempted to register was irritating and more than a little frightening. When Surreal wasn't sure of her contempt for a person, she never trusted herself with that person.

Almost sighing aloud, Surreal turned her eyes down to her folded hands in her lap and let her lips become thin. Ever since leaving Falonar some time back, she hadn't been able to fall back into what was a normal mood for her. She was often closed in upon herself, wanting nothing more than to be left to her own devices. Which, really, weren't much of anything impressive. She visited Daemon and Jaenelle, Lucivar and Marian, and everyone else that she knew, but couldn't return to her usual lifestyle. It wasn't only becoming irritating, but tiresome as well. She simply wanted a day where she had no worries. That would be heaven to her.

_Lady? _Surreal glanced to Graysfang, her kindred Warlord Prince. Perhaps, if he hadn't been kindred, she would consider as more than just a loyal companion. She didn't know anyone who had taken better care of her than him. There was the High Lord of Hell, of course, and Daemon Sadi had his share of protectiveness – and Lucivar. But Graysfang was the one who trotted next to her after leaving Falonar and had snuggled against her in the night to keep her warm from the coldness of the vacancy on the other side of the bed. _Are you upset with Lucivar?_

Laughing softly, Surreal shook her head and murmured, "Sugar, if I was upset with him, you would know." She reached out and stroked Graysfang down the length of his body, absent-mindedly sighing to herself as Daemonar zoomed into the house where Marian was calling. Lucivar let out a breath and reached to his forehead, pushing his long fingers through his hair. Surreal quenched the sensual thirst that rose furiously, turning from his approaching form to concentrate harder on digging her own fingers in Graysfang's fur.

"You've been quiet today," Lucivar remarked as he dropped down beside Surreal. She snorted in reply. He leaned over to look into her face. He had noticed from the beginning when she arrived with Graysfang that her mood had become brooding. There had been a gaiety in her walk when she'd approached. She and Graysfang had taken a small walk around the cottage before returning to where he and Daemonar were. Instead of joining them like she might have another time, she sat down and Graysfang loyally followed. Lucivar wouldn't question her if it was about Falonar since it was a sore topic and the only one he knew she'd honestly, deeply spoken to it about was Daemon.

_Surreal, _Graysfang said on a Gray thread, meant for only her, _maybe it would be better to talk to Lucivar about it. You seem unhappy with him..._ She glared at him in answer and he whined, laying his ears back. Lucivar raised his eyebrows, sensing the private conversation he couldn't hear.

"I'm just in a bad mood," she snapped to Lucivar. "It's none of your business." He turned from her, leaning back with his arms stretched back and his hands planted firmly on the ground. He listened to Marian and Daemonar inside and felt a pang of an emotion he wasn't sure of. He had known for awhile that there was something more than friendship or familial feelings between them, but neither of them had expressed it fully. He supposed this was why she rarely ever dropped in and when she did, she always got in this mood unless Daemon or someone else was present.

"Perhaps we should go on a walk," he suggested gently. She stiffened angrily and in outrage, he suspected.

"No, thank you," she bit out in the same tone. Graysfang gave another whine and she rose to her feet and the pup did as well, eager to leave the tense atmosphere. She breathed steadily through her nose and tilted her head back to look at the calm, drifting sky. Surreal briefly considered lying down in the grass and letting the pleasant weather drift over her in a caress. The thought was discarded just as quickly as it had come. She had no desire to remain in Lucivar's presence for longer than necessary. She hated looking at his left hand with the wedding band closed around his fourth finger. She hated watching him and his son together with Marian gazing at them fondly. She hated their happiness, because she knew that she would never have anything like it.

"Are you leaving?" Lucivar asked her in a quiet tone without moving much, glancing up at her.

"It's better I leave," she responded in a calmer tone. She moved to do just that, but he was on his feet and had her arm. Her eyes flashed in irritation, but he didn't let her say anything, shoving her down towards the forest, away from hearing distance of the cottage. Graysfang followed them from a safe distance, unsure of whether he should attack Lucivar or not. "What the hell are you about?" She growled, shoving away from him with dark, warning eyes.

"What I'm about to say doesn't need to be heard by Marian," he answered simply. She glared at him warily. Her initial response to protecting herself had always been anger and Lucivar knew it. Surreal knew that he did, but didn't care any more or less. "All I can say to you is that I'm sorry, Surreal." She blinked, startled from her anger. He continued on with a tender expression on his face, "If there was a way to give you what you want, then I would choose it; but I can't hurt Marian. Even you can understand that." He gave a small gesture saying, "It isn't easy to love two people in equal amounts."

"No," she agreed bitterly, "especially when you're married to one of them and have a son. I haven't been asking anything, sugar, and I never intended to. You're happy with her." He didn't reply, gazing back at her with a level expression. Graysfang settled himself beside Surreal and she looked to him, reaching down and brushing her hand against his muzzle. He let out a low sound, nudging her hand. "What do you want to do, Lucivar?"

"...Like you said, I'm married, and with a son. I can't hurt Marian and I won't insult you by making you my mistress." She nodded, not daring to raise her eyes from Graysfang to look at him. Lucivar watched her close her emotions in and keep them from showing on her face. She was struggling; he could see that much. He approached her and she pursed her lips as he was so near that his body heat was felt. "After this, we won't discuss it again, Surreal, or even acknowledge that anything's there. Is that fair?"

"Fair enough." A slow, rueful smile touched his lips before he leaned down and pressed his mouth to hers briefly. It was a chaste kiss, but full of the honest love he felt for her. After withdrawing, he left her to return to the cottage. Closing her eyes, Surreal sealed in the tears of rage and sorrow that threatened to erupt.

"I guess I can never win," she mumbled to Graysfang, who turned his eyes to hers in sympathy. "Let's go." She sighed as she and Graysfang ascended the light hill and passed the cottage. She didn't stop to give her farewells to Marian. Why should she? They rose onto the Gray Wind and went for some time before Graysfang spoke.

_Where are we going, Surreal? _He asked her.

"The two of us are getting away from the family for awhile, Graysfang," she replied with a light smile. _Once this pain ceases, maybe things will be better. Damned Eyriens... Why couldn't I have fallen for guys that are arrogant bastards and are bound to hurt you? _She shrugged it off.

Things would get better. The pain would cease with only Graysfang for company. Maybe she had known all along that it was the familiar loneliness that she needed to heal. With her new family, it was difficult to find that loneliness again.

_It will be fun, _Graysfang declared in an eager tone, _with just the two of us! No one will interrupt our adventures! _Surreal chuckled. It was a child-like response, but not an unpleasant one.

"It will be fun," she agreed.

_Finis_

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DIS: I've always fancied the idea of Surreal and Lucivar together, even if they are distantly related. I never entirely enjoyed the idea of Lucivar married, with Marian nonetheless, so you can imagine where this idea came from. Please leave a review on your way out; I'd love some feedback. Ciao!


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